If I were a Rich Girl…

If you read that title and then immediately hummed na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na nah, then congratulate yourself… you are part of the reason that Gwen Stefani is estimated to be worth more than 100 million bucks. So yes, she is, no doubt, a rich girl.

I, however, am not.

However, I certainly do “think what that money could bring” and that “I’d buy everything” if I had her type of dough floating around. However, while Gwen might want to spend her money on Galliano’s, Westwood’s, and homes in Hollywood, I’d prefer to spend mine on something a little flashier, a little sexier, a little speedier.

Yup. I’m talking about my fantasy of owning a luxury car. Maybe a Ferrari? A Bugatti? I mean, right now I drive a Ford Escape, so the bar is low, but what the hell? Let’s play a game. It’s called “pretend you’re super rich – what car would you buy?” Although be forewarned, this game is one hundred percent going to depress you when you realize how poor you are compared to people who actually buy cars worth 4.8 million dollars (I’m looking at you – Koenigsegg Trevita).

Without further ado, I present to you the cars I would buy if I were super-loaded (aka Gwen Stefani).


2017 Maserati Quattroporte GTS

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right… the 2017 Maserati Quattroporte is not the craziest car that money could buy (don’t worry, we’ll get to those models soon). However, if I were filthy rich, I’d still want a “normal” person car – you know, one where I could roll up to dinner and be relatively subtle about my extravagant wealth. The 2017 Maserati Quattroporte basically says “I’m super-wealthy, but also classy enough to try to keep it slightly under the radar.”

Of course, I’m not exactly worried about being frugal in my dreams, just classy, so I’d definitely opt for the top-of-the-line model available on the 2017 Maserati Quattroporte – the GTS. I would also bling it out by opting for the super luxe GranLusso trim, which means my Maserati would have an interior fit for a queen, what with its wood trim, wood-and-leather steering wheel and silk interiors… yes, you read that right – silk. According to Maserati, their automobiles are the only ones “in the world to feature bespoke silk interiors.” So basically, in my dreams I can never, ever drink coffee in my car on the way to work. Oh wait, who am I kidding – I’d never work if I were that rich.

So just how many bones are we talking here? Actually, not that much compared to some of the other cars I’d be tempted to roll in. The 2017 Maserati Quattroporte GTS in GranLusso has a starting MSRP of just $145,000, which means not only that it’s the most attainable car on my list but also that Gwen Stefani could own 689 of them (she doesn’t, although she has owned a Maserati Quattroporte in the past).

Now that I’ve gotten my “reasonable” car purchase out of the way, allow me to share with you a car that is the exact opposite of the Maserati Quattroporte. If the Maserati signals “quiet wealth and elegance” than this next car screams “I’ve got MONEYYYYYY!” Let me introduce you to the Ferrari LaFerrari Aperta.


2017 Ferrari LaFerrari Aperta

Now yes, there are cars with heftier price tags, like the Koenigsegg Trevita mentioned above. But for my absolute splurge car, I want a car with name recognition and I want it to be a sexy little Italian number. Basically, it has to be a Ferrari. And not just any Ferrari – I want the LaFerrari Aperta. I’m not even entirely sure how to describe this car, but let me tell you that with just one glance, you know this car is fast. Like super fast. Think 0-60 in under three seconds fast. Somehow, the Ferrari LaFerrari Aperta manages to be futuristic without being ridiculous – it’s all fine lines and sleek surfaces, just pure sex appeal and speed.

Speaking of sex appeal, if you’re going for that rumpled, just got out of bed but still look totally glamorous look, there’s no better way to get it than by hitting top speeds in a car with no roof. You want tousled windblown hair? You got it in the open-concept Aperta, which has a maximum speed of 217 miles per hour. For comparison’s sake, my Ford Escape gets a max speed of about 125 miles per hour, which basically means the Ford is a car and the Ferrari is a rocket.

Of course, once again reality has to come and ruin this fun game we’re playing, because not only will I need to shell out a ton of dough to own the 2017 Ferrari LaFerrari Aperta –  $1.7 million to be exact – I’ll also have be lucky enough to get my hands on one of the only 209 models released to the public. And not only that – the company may actually decide that I’m not worthy of driving their insanely gorgeous supercar, even if I have funds and over a dozen Ferrari’s in my garage. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Lee, who despite having all the money and all the connections, was still not allowed to buy the LaFerrari Aperta. Talk about exclusivity. It’s okay though, I’m sure that Gordon Ramsey would be cool letting David take his Ferrari LaFerrari Aperta out for a quick spin.


All the Riches, Baby, Won’t Mean Anything…

So okay, maybe I’ll never even have the opportunity (or the funds) to sit behind the wheel of one of these supercars. But that’s okay, because sometimes the dream is better than the reality… I mean, think of it this way, would you really want to drive a car that only got 15 miles to the gallon in the city and 22 on the highway (wink, wink, Maserati)? Or potentially have a company refuse to sell to you because you overshare on Instagram (hey there, Ferrari)? No, thank you. I’ll take my nondescript, 23 mpg city/30 mpg highway Ford Escape and happily blend in among the 300,000 sold just in 2016.

But hey, PS: Gwen, if you’re reading this…feel free to send a Maserati or two my way.

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